Faux Food

A friend of my son once asked me if I had any real food in my house.I love to collect things that look like the real stuff. This is the left side of a cabinet in my home with my collection of fake food and other things. Closeups of the fake food are in the next pictures to follow.
This is the right side of the cabinet.
Anyone ready for breakfast? Pancakes,cereal & coffee! Oops, someone spilled the coffee!
How about a snack of pretzels,maybe a glass of wine or a glob of peanut butter?
Can I interest you in a piece of pie? Apple with a scoop of ice cream or cherry? How about a frosted brownie or a pink cupcake? Who left the spoon of ice cream to melt? I have a whole cherry pie if you are really hungry. This is a ceramic pie dish that I made over 20 years ago. Strawberry shortcake? Another ceramic made over 20 years ago. How about a cake with strawberries and blackberries?
Or just a plain white cake?
How about a strawberry sundae?
Maybe you just want an apple, pear or a bunch of grapes? Or maybe we can make lemonade?
Can I interest you in a soda or beer? How about a shake?
I have a can of collards if that's what you want.
Maybe a jar of preserves? This tomato plant doesn't seem to grow anything bigger than a ping-pong ball!
Do you smoke after you eat? Sorry, these are lighters not cigarettes!

Maybe a dip of snuff?
Here's the menu...
This is the type of cook I am and how we know when dinner is ready..
Let's give thanks.
OK, who spilled the nail polish and left a paint brush on my table?